Let me ponder and wander off into wonder and I’ll find my
way back again, to the reality I am used to. Just like flying to Neverland to
play with Peter Pan and the Pirates.
My incapability of saying no has haunted me ever since I was
young. I was afraid of rejection and I was also afraid of hurting the other
party. Hence it leads to all the bad choices, the wrong turns, the regrets I have
in life. Even up to date, I am still afraid.
The tendency to want and break free will always linger in my
head. It’s not that I am too young; it’s not that I am unhappy. Maybe that
little space in my heart aches from time to time, it needs to find something that
would soften me up and accept facts of life that I am supposed to be where I am
right now. From where I am standing, I have everything in life anyone can ask
for. Happiness, pain, sadness are just part and parcels of life, everyone goes
through a different kind of cycles.
Allah SWT will only put you through obstacles that HE knows
we could overcome. Nothing is ever too hard or too easy because everyone is
given a different path of life. From time to time, I get remarks and praises. I
am grateful that I have the strength to go through so much, from my dark
childhood to my delusional teenage years and now, adulthood which consists of
marriage & motherhood.
Assalamualaikum.
