Although i put on that smile, that little brave front each time i have to face you. Truthfully, I'm breaking from within.
With all due respect, i don't mean to cause anymore stress or remorse to you. i know that you're just being you and you don't intend for me to live broken hearted. However, you fail to see how much it hurts and what's worse, you don't know how it feels especially when i have to be okay about it and try my hardest to smile, not letting that tear drop from the brink of my eye. That feeling itself, breaks my heart.
My problem is you. Shall we go back in time to count how many times have you left me high and dry, crying and broken hearted. Anything you say will not account for why i feel this manner, its as complicated as it can be. The only thing left for me is to learn from what happened then and prepare myself.
So meanwhile,the only place i seek refuge is this blog. the only place i believe not many i know read my sorrows, my pain. Otherwise, i rather be anywhere else but in the house, when you're not around.
2 months, so much has happened.
I've been a good wife, a naughty girl, a wanton women and a protective mother. There were good days, bad days and days i wish i wasn't alive.
A good wife. I've always tried my hardest to be at his back and call. But ironically, there will always be one tiny thing that piss him off. Things haven't be good, i just lost my only awesome privilege ; my Sony Z1. Of all things, my phone had to be sold off. Because he overspend, i am to pay for it. And im missing it like crazy.
A naughty girl. I've lied, just so i could spend an advance birthday with the family. Presents that bought me to tears and presents that put a smile on my face. it was worth the lie, i won't mind.
A wanton women. I'm not pious, i have my days when i let my hair down and do a little that no one would expect of me. Well, i'm no good girl. i have an alter ego which i don't seldom let it out to play. And on those days, i just let lose and be awesome about what i do.
A protective mother. Days i wish, my little girl would just listen to me. i can't blame here. She's all big and stomping around the house like she own the territory. With all my heart, i wish i could apply what i learn.. some day.
