I'm here to write, to express what I'm keeping within me that's hurting so much.
Before we had that talk, a part of me always warn me to be wary. Because that part of me knew that things ought to repeat itself. And so I shared this thought/feelings to a couple of close friends.
And today, we had a talk while having dinner. A pretty random one that totally ruin my night, my urge to eat.
It was that very thing I dread most. The most hurtful thing that he can even do and get away with it without any guilty charges. And so I popped the question , for how much longer is this gonna last? He replied, as cool as anything ; forever.
At that moment, I froze. I thought to myself, I chose this life right ? I knew this is gonna happen right ? A leopard will never change right ? What's the need to lose weight and look good when he won't appreciate me ?
Again, with all my heart I regretted. But maintain my mood as I don't wanna ruin his. I don't wanna start fighting, arguing like the old time ; enough was enough.
Though he explained himself for his doings. I still can't accept the fact of him going back to where it all started. It's like I don't give him enough, it's like I don't satisfy his needs. It's depressing.
